~ And then there’s Marv! ~

Gag this man!

HARD HITTING

JOURNALISTS

HAPPY DAY!

    Welcome to Lancaster County – the only county in America where elected officials are not allowed to voice opinions!  Oh, happy day!  We vote ‘em in to shut ‘em up!  It’s a new and wonderful concept and we may see this spread like wide fire across the country.   

    As noted earlier today in “breaking news,” I am filing a suit to gag Mayor J. Richard Gray because every time he opens his mouth he is causing immediate and irreparable harm to all the residents of Lancaster city and county.  Hey, I‘m just trying to do my part to help shut these dumb politicians up and all.

SHUT THEM UP!

    I love this morning’s Intell headline, “Despite suit, county sets tax meetings.” Gee – do you think that headline is biased?  Those rascally commissioners have dared to speak their minds and they have set up meetings so the public can speak their minds!  The subtitle to the article reads, “Convention center/hotel developers want injunction to keep commissioners from undermining project.”  Come to beautiful Lancaster County where the Lancaster Newspapers finally found a way to shut the politicians up!  I am so incredibly proud.

GAVE TO GIB!   

    Did you read Helen Colwell Adam’s incredibly boring column, “Contests by the numbers” this Sunday?  Did you notice who gave to young Gib’s unsuccessful campaign to keep his seat in the 100th House District?  Well, S. Dale High gave him $1,000 and Beverly Steinman, identified in the article as “a director of Lancaster Newspapers Inc.,” gave him $500.  Interesting, to say the very least.

BLOODY BORING!

    Did you read Gil Smart this Sunday?  I didn’t think so.  One Talkbacker said, “Bloody BORING – jeesh get some new material, Smart.”  And learn how to write, Smart.  Awful, just really, really awful.

BLUNDERLAND?

    Do you understand Marvelous Marv’s Sunday News headline, “An editor in blunderland”?  If you do, please send me an email.  Marv tells us a reader sent the top execs at LNP an email about him saying “I urge you to replace him and others who appear biased with new hard-hitting, investigative journalists.”  What a hoot!  The problem is, LNP doesn’t know what a “hard-hitting, investigative journalist” is.  They've never met one.  And Marvelous Marv thinks it’s someone who’s good at softball.  Maybe we could get an immediate injunction against Marv to stop him from ever writing another column?

CONN. MAN!

    Whoever wrote the New Era headline, “Conn. Man to head daily operations at Central Market,” should be fired.  A Talkbacker was nicer about it and wrote, “Nice headline.  Let’s hope this Conn. man is not a con man.”

CUP-BOUND

    Whoever wrote the Intell  headline, “Cup-bound commissioner,” should also be fired.  Again, a Talkbacker was nicer about it and posted this, “And here I thought some local official was stuck in his athletic supporter.”

COMING TOMORROW – TWO QUAKERS WROTE A LETTER TO THE EDITOR ON SUNDAY AND YOU GUESSED IT – I’M MAD AS HELL!