SWEET DREAMS
“Good morning Dr. Fraud. How are you?”
“Don’t patronize me. I found a person of color on young Gib’s website. Do I win? Do I win? Do I win?”
“Where did you find a person of color?”
“The picture where he’s showing the fourth-graders the House and Senate Chambers. Way in the back there is a child of color.”
“Nonsense. You’re lying and you know it. I’ve checked that photo very carefully. There is not a child of color.”
“I don’t like you. I bet young Gib doesn’t like you either. Before I have to look at young Gib again, what does the winner win?”
“Dr. Fraud, don’t tell anyone but it’s a trick contest. There can be no winner. There is not a person of color in any of the photographs.”
“I think you’re mean. So, did you see Smart started his column with “so” again this week? I told him to do that on purpose. I know how much it annoys you.”
“In case you haven’t noticed Dr. Fraud, I’ve stopped even trying to read Smart’s columns. They gave me brain cramps, headaches and sent me to the window shouting, ‘I’m not going to take it any more.’ My neighbors think I’m strange.”
“No doubt. And rightly so, by the way.”
“Do you think he’d still be writing his column if he were a person of color?”
“Hell, no. They would have canned his sorry butt years ago.”
“Well, isn’t it nice that we can agree on something.”
“I said, don’t patronize me. I have to go. I have my session with Clyde coming up.”
“Do you think he’d still be writing his column if he were a person of color?”
“Hell, no. They would have canned his crazy butt years ago.”
“Why don’t you think there are any people of color in young Gib’s photos?”
“I imagine they have the good sense to run when they see young Gib coming. Now, I’m going to call that Jennifer Brown and see if she’d like to discuss tolerance and diversity over dinner.”
“Don’t you think you’re a little old for Jennifer, Dr. Fraud?”
“A man can dream, can’t he?”
“Sweet dreams, Dr. Fraud.”
