Welcome
CONTACT US
FRONT PAGE 2
FRONT PAGE 3
STORY INDEX 1
STORY INDEX 2
STORY INDEX 3
STORY INDEX 4
STORY INDEX 5
THE MOLE
LEMUEL JAMES
KOPPENHAVER
TED BYRNE
TICKET TO RIDE
OH, THE BYRNE 3
SWEET DREAMS
YOUNG GIB
PRELIMINARY HEARING
JUSTICE
ANGELICA RIVERA
WHO SAYS FLUID
ARCHIVE 7-20/7-27
ARCHIVE 7-27
INCEST
INCEST1
YOUNG GIB 1
ARCHIVE 3
ARCHIVE 4
ARCHIVE 5
FRY HEARING
INCEST - OPEN EYES
ARCHIVE - 6
ARCHIVE 7
ARCHIVE 8
SMITHGALL 1
SMITHGALL 2
ARCHIVE 9
ARCHIVE 10
SMITHGALL 3
CHARLIE'S PROMISE - SEX
KING'S SPEECH
INCEST - TRAGEDY
LUDWIG/BORDEN
ARCHIVE 11/LCCCA
SUNDAY NEWS SAGA/COMEDY
INCEST - TRAGEDY 2
ARCHIVE 12
ARCHIVE 13
LYNCHING 1
MILLERSVILLE LAWSUIT
ARCHIVE 14
NO QUESTION
VONDERHEIDE/HARPER
RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS
INCEST & HATCHER
JUSTIN QUINN
JANET KELLEY
SCRAT
NOTES & QUOTES
HE'S A RAT
HOLY COW!
TALKBACK
TOTARO MUST GO
SNEDDON
ARCHIVE 15
ARCHIVE 16
ARCHIVE 17
TOTARO/FRY
LOVELACE
THE GAY GUYS
HARRY ENG
WOMEN AND PARTON
HERR, BOYD & LIARS
HARPER IS SANDWICHED
BEATING A PATH
VONDERHEIDE & CRY BABIES
LANCASTER/RACISM
PULL THE PLUG!
KIRK & HARPER
RESOLUTION 37
SOUL AND PASSION!
ALL ABOARD
SUPER JERKS
STEWART OPINION
DEVON SMITH
END IT NOW
COMMON CAUSE
SEXISM & MURDER
DOUBLE CROSSED
JOURNALISTS
A FAMILY TRAGEDY
BANANAS & BRETT
WHO'S WATCHING BRETT?
EXTRA! EXTRA!
FEAR FACTOR
DESCENT INTO MADNESS
BURIED IN DEBT
PICTURE THE TRUTH
NEWS - STREAKER - WHITE ARCHIVE
ARCHIVE 18
GRAND JURY - FULL VIEW
INJUSTICE - RIVERA
INVESTIGATE PSP/STEVENS
COVER-UPS & LIES
DON'T MAKE ME MAD
JUDGEMENT DAYS
STEWART TRIAL
FRY, F&M & INCEST
JOURNEY OF PAIN
CHRISTY MIRACK
SUE ME
WHEN WILL I GET A LAWYER?
STURLA - BUM
COOLEY'S EMAIL
CONVENTION CENTER
GAG ORDER
RENTERIA - STEWART MISTRIAL
CONVENTION CENTER 2
FAUST - COLD CASE
CONVENTION CENTER 3
MADENSPACHER - MONEY TALKS
TOTARO - SCHREIBER
CONVENTION CENTER 4
EURYTOPIC
ARCHIVE 19 - CC & CROW
INJUNCTIONS
HARPER IS
HARPER IS SCUMMY
LIES, LIES AND MORE LIES
DOG DAYS - LANCASTER POLICE
LOVELACE - FRY
HARPER - BEINGREAL ARCHIVE
SHELLENBERGER
ARCHIVE 20
ARCHIVE 21
TERRYP
MADENSPACHER 2
ELECTION
RONNIEDOG
ARCHIVE 22
STEWART TRIAL
ENG - FOR THE RECORD
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                            ~ Acorns Anyone? ~

I’M NOT A NUT

 

I’m a nut!

 

    “Hmmm, who is really the nut?”

    Scratching his nuts is.  Oops…!  Sorry, that should be Scrat is really the nut.  It’s so nice of you to take the time to read my site.  Now I can happily report that one person came on today for the first time in months!   Hallelujah!

    “So how is the lawsuit against LNP going?”  It’s going very well, thank you for asking.   You didn't get it quite right, though.

    Wow!  I’m rarely right about anything but I had your sorry nut pegged within the first month.   The very first article on my website in October of 2004 (and it’s still there on the original lipnews.com) was “How I Got Smart.”  It features our Ice Age nut-job before he found his nuts and the rat was just a Jesus loving Daddy.  I reprint it today in his honor.

 

 

HOW I GOT SMART

By Real Smart

 

I was born smart. Real smart.

I am a spoiled, white, frat-brat and I’m proud. But, I’m really just one of you. Did I mention that I eat fried chicken?

Look. I am who I am and I’m not afraid to say it. And I think this community needs that. I also think this community needs a good fried chicken joint.

Look. When I said the Amish should be allowed to sell six-packs from their buggies on Sundays, I meant it. I had an Amish woman call me about that. Women call me all the time and tell me their stories because I am real smart.

I can write, too. And I’m not afraid to say that.

And, overall, I think this community is better off for it.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cate     Nice article, Real.

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Silly       I like trucks. Do you have a truck, Real?

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Fave     You’re off-topic, Silly.

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Silly      Fave, I just like trucks. Do you have a big truck, Real?

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Fave      I have a ban button, Silly. Don’t make me use it.

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Strayed      Thank you, Fave. Going off-topic is a sin.

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Riverfat    Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real?

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Daddyw     Do you put ketchup on your fried chicken?

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Cate         LOL. Why do you ask, Daddyw?

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Daddyw    I ask because Kerry’s wife is a big, red tomato. I’ve stopped eating condiments

                 all together because of that b****.

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Darling     Your life must be kind of bland Daddyw. How do you spice things up?

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Fave        Settle down people. Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real?

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Dope        Who puts ketchup on their fried chicken? I don’t think white people do that. Black

                 people put hot sauce on their fried chicken. The Hispanics probably eat their fried

                chicken with those big, banana things. I don’t know if Asians eat fried chicken.

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Darling       What are those big banana things?  Does anyone know?

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Riverfat       Do you have any guns in your truck, Real?

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Daddyw      I think you should, Real. Especially if you’re going into the ward to buy Clyde his 

                  coffee.

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Cate           I think I like coffee. Does anyone know if I like coffee?

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Dimpled     Yes, Cate, you like coffee. You posted it here once.

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Cate          Thank you, Dimpled. I do like coffee. What kind does Clyde drink? I don’t go into the

                 ward.

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Marv1       Real, did you say the Amish should sell six -packs from their buggies? Do you think

                 that was wise?

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Silly          I don’t like buggies. I like trucks.

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Dimpled      We all know that, Silly.  You posted it here once.

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Darling      Can we go back to the banana things?

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Marv1      Have you considered a hair cut, Darling?

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Lovelywoman      I have a recipe for fried chicken. Buttermilk is the trick. PM me if you want the

                            recipe.

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Cate        I want the recipe. I never leave my house because I’m on this board 24/7.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Dope       Get a freaking life, Cate.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Fave       Bad girl, Dope. Read the rules. I’m going to make you sit in the corner for a while.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Strayed     Thank you, Fave.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Daddyw      Do you have a recipe for pickles, Lovelywoman? I miss my condiments. What brand

                   of beer do the Amish sell, Real?

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Amishfiend     I think you are all left-wing commies.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Daddyw         I’m not, Amishfiend. I only read books by my pal Ollie North.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Cate           Are those good books, Daddyw? I’m looking for a good book.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Riverfat     Do the Amish eat fried chicken?

_____________________________________________________________________________

Darling     There is no known cure for left-wing commies.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Lovelywoman       I have a recipe for mock pickles, Daddyw. They’re quite good and they’re

                             made with green tomatoes.  LOL

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Dope         I didn’t think white people ate green tomatoes.

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Fave        You’re in the corner, Dope.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Darling    Do you think I should get a haircut, Marv1?

_____________________________________________________________________________

Lovelywoman     I can’t find my avatar.

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Cate          I can’t find myself.

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Riverfat     I can’t find my AK-47.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Daddyw     I can’t find my Ollie North book.

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Mixxedup   I can’t find the ward.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Fave        Behave people. LNP doesn’t pay me overtime. I’m closing this thread and getting some

                sleep. When astonished was posting, my beeper would go off at all hours of the night.

                I took care of that. Be warned, posters. I do have a ban button and I will use it.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Strayed      Thank you, Fave.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Fave          I said this thread was closed.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Strayed      Good night, Fave.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Fave         You all just don’t get it, do you.?  I’m banning everyone except Daddyw. I can’t ban

him.  He’s my boss. It will just be Daddyw, karl and me posting from now on. If that

crazy Clyde comes on, I'll ban him too.  He's a nut job.  Goodbye.

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