HOW I GOT SMART

By Real Smart

I was born smart. Real smart.

I am a spoiled, white, frat-brat and I’m proud. But, I’m really just one of you. Did I mention that I eat fried chicken?

Look. I am who I am and I’m not afraid to say it. And I think this community needs that. I also think this community needs a good fried chicken joint.

Look. When I said the Amish should be allowed to sell six-packs from their buggies on Sundays, I meant it. I had an Amish woman call me about that. Women call me all the time and tell me their stories because I am real smart.

I can write, too. And I’m not afraid to say that.

And, overall, I think this community is better off for it.

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Cate     Nice article, Real.

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Silly       I like trucks. Do you have a truck, Real?

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Fave     You’re off-topic, Silly.

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Silly      Fave, I just like trucks. Do you have a big truck, Real?

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Fave      I have a ban button, Silly. Don’t make me use it.

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Strayed      Thank you, Fave. Going off-topic is a sin.

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Riverfat    Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real?

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Daddyw     Do you put ketchup on your fried chicken?

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Cate         LOL. Why do you ask, Daddyw?

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Daddyw    I ask because Kerry’s wife is a big, red tomato. I’ve stopped eating condiments

                 all together because of that b****.

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Darling     Your life must be kind of bland Daddyw. How do you spice things up?

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Fave        Settle down people. Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real?

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Dope        Who puts ketchup on their fried chicken? I don’t think white people do that. Black

                 people put hot sauce on their fried chicken. The Hispanics probably eat their fried

                chicken with those big, banana things. I don’t know if Asians eat fried chicken.

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Darling       What are those big banana things?  Does anyone know?

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Riverfat       Do you have any guns in your truck, Real?

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Daddyw      I think you should, Real. Especially if you’re going into the ward to buy Clyde his 

                  coffee.

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Cate           I think I like coffee. Does anyone know if I like coffee?

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Dimpled     Yes, Cate, you like coffee. You posted it here once.

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Cate          Thank you, Dimpled. I do like coffee. What kind does Clyde drink? I don’t go into the

                 ward.

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Marv1       Real, did you say the Amish should sell six -packs from their buggies? Do you think

                 that was wise?

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Silly          I don’t like buggies. I like trucks.

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Dimpled      We all know that, Silly.  You posted it here once.

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Darling      Can we go back to the banana things?

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Marv1      Have you considered a hair cut, Darling?

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Lovelywoman      I have a recipe for fried chicken. Buttermilk is the trick. PM me if you want the

                            recipe.

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Cate        I want the recipe. I never leave my house because I’m on this board 24/7.

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Dope       Get a freaking life, Cate.

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Fave       Bad girl, Dope. Read the rules. I’m going to make you sit in the corner for a while.

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Strayed     Thank you, Fave.

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Daddyw      Do you have a recipe for pickles, Lovelywoman? I miss my condiments. What brand

                   of beer do the Amish sell, Real?

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Amishfiend     I think you are all left-wing commies.

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Daddyw         I’m not, Amishfiend. I only read books by my pal Ollie North.

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Cate           Are those good books, Daddyw? I’m looking for a good book.

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Riverfat     Do the Amish eat fried chicken?

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Darling     There is no known cure for left-wing commies.

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Lovelywoman       I have a recipe for mock pickles, Daddyw. They’re quite good and they’re

                             made with green tomatoes.  LOL

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Dope         I didn’t think white people ate green tomatoes.

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Fave        You’re in the corner, Dope.

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Darling    Do you think I should get a haircut, Marv1?

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Lovelywoman     I can’t find my avatar.

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Cate          I can’t find myself.

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Riverfat     I can’t find my AK-47.

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Daddyw     I can’t find my Ollie North book.

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Mixxedup   I can’t find the ward.

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Fave        Behave people. LNP doesn’t pay me overtime. I’m closing this thread and getting some

                sleep. When astonished was posting, my beeper would go off at all hours of the night.

                I took care of that. Be warned, posters. I do have a ban button and I will use it.

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Strayed      Thank you, Fave.

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Fave          I said this thread was closed.

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Strayed      Good night, Fave.

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Fave         You all just don’t get it, do you.?  I’m banning everyone except Daddyw. I can’t ban

him.  He’s my boss. It will just be Daddyw, karl and me posting from now on. If that

crazy Clyde comes on, I'll ban him too.  He's a nut job.  Goodbye.

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